Hans smiled when I opened the door slowly and the condition immediately made my heart feel like it had been a thousand kilometers marathon. I'm still gawking at the maximum. Taking turns staring at Hans's face and the tray in his hand, still with the two prayer bowls earlier.
"Hello, beautiful doctor, you can save half a kilo for tomorrow, so now we can eat, I'm sorry for this delicious idle salad". Hans said as he pushed lightly the door with one shoulder while grinning.
I just stammered following Hans who had sat relaxed on the sofa in my room by putting down the tray and preparing a salad for the two of us. With a gesture of his hand, Hans asked me to sit beside him, and like a remote, I wanted to sit side by side with Hans and began to follow Hans silently bribing the salad with every spoon until there was nothing left. Our silence is interrupted by the ringing of Hans's pager calls. Reading the message briefly, then Hans, who was still silent, cleared the bowl of salad back into the tray and said that he would come back because he had something to do. I have not been able to interpret Hans's obscure attitude. Returning to my desk and tidying up some documents that I needed to learn about my patient's diagnosis, which needed focus, I forgot about Hans for a moment. After one operation for a child with a broken arm was over and the clock on the wall in the operating room read 6:10 p.m., I packed my things and got ready to go home.
When I arrived at the hospital lobby, my gaze was fixated on the figure of Hans who was laughing with a man wearing a blue shirt whose arms had rolled up to his elbows. I didn't pay much attention to it because my eyes met Hans's eyes which immediately turned his gaze back to the man and the thing that made me feel sore was Doctor Rini clinging to Hans's left arm affectionately without rejection.
I kept walking out of the lobby which felt stifling and it was the last time I saw Hans in the last month.
The days passed with the usual routine, diagnosing patients, operating, going home in the afternoon unless there was an emergency at night, and coming back the next day.
In the second month after the stifling sight, I had a surprise visit from Doctor Rini to my office with an invitation to her engagement with Hans. The fiancée to Hans who is held in a ballroom at a well-known hotel in the city elite, whose price is definitely zero six.
Until the luxurious engagement ended with a lot of rumors circulating that they were a good match and would be a trending couple this year, I didn't meet Hans in particular, only brief shakes when we all had the chance to congratulate him.
*****
That morning, as usual, I went to the hospital, besides serving, as usual, I was also preparing to welcome the new director of this hospital, who will be handing over tomorrow morning. When the busy preparations were waiting for the final stage which was only a matter of checking, my cell phone rang. After the second ring, I just picked it up and was very surprised to see that this was an important call from home. My son drops, oh my God, what is this? May I be strong? I don't think any more about the information that I should keep tidy in a minute will open up. But I don't care anymore, I will accept any consequences because the life of my flesh and blood is at stake.
Rushing to the parking lot without greeting either side, as usual, I accelerated my car at high speed. After making sure all the equipment was carried and my babysitter cradled her sitting in the back, I drove back to the hospital and headed straight to the ER. Doctor Pratiwi, a specialist in internal medicine, immediately took action. I could only be stunned while my tears continued to flow unstoppable. After the condition was under control and my son's shortness of breath began to slowly return to normal. I was surprised by the entry of a figure that forced me to exile myself to this small town. He drew closer to the patient's gurney and tried to reach out to touch my son. Immediately unable to move, I hurried to prevent him by telling him not to come closer. "He's my son and I have the right to confirm his condition", his arrogance is still the same.
But what makes me confused is how did he know we live in this city and suddenly he appeared when my son dropped. While the confusing dialogue in my head does not finish yet, the emergency room door opened again with the sound of approaching footsteps. Noises like the roar of a bee in my ears didn't make me look away to the patient gurney where my future and my past resided. Until a warm hug on my waist made me aware. Then a warm voice whispered in my ear "we will face together dear, we must be strong for our son", said Hans who suddenly hugged my waist. Actually, it wasn't a whisper that only I could hear but a voice that could make all eyes in this room turn their eyes towards us. I spontaneously wanted to let go of this drama-filled arm and get out of the complexity of this nightmare as quickly as possible. But the hug on my waist is getting tighter so I can't move my body away. My husband-I mean my ex-husband why did he turn into Hans and didn't he just become Doctor Rini's fiancé, why became my husband? Doctor Rini's strong hand stomped on Hans's arm as a woman entered the cause of all this pain. Tiara firmly said "why do you always take care of this actress? he always uses his son to tie you", his words of course make me want to argue. But Hans answered first while tugging Doctor Rini's hand from his hand.
The confusion got out of hand because two women confessed to each other as wives and the fiance of two boys who claimed to be the father of my son. I felt dark around me and voices seemed to be shouting away from each other and disappeared.
My head hurt when I was about to open my eyes, but I still tried to open it because the previous series of oppressive events were milling about like presentation slides in my head. The reality that hit me and ... oh ... Pras, my son ...
When I tried to sit up, Pras's quiet babysitter voice turned my gaze to the left of the bed. At that time I realized that I was in the hospital room with an IV tube in my right wrist.
"Ma'am, don't move much first, doctor ...", the explanation was not finished yet I immediately interrupted "Pras where?". With a sad face, he explained that an hour ago Pras was taken to the operating room and Hans who was responsible as his guardian and it turned out that I had been unconscious since yesterday morning.
I tried to close my uncompromising eyes to open for a long time.
Aksara